Never Scream and Run from Police... Especially when they have something of yours!

So normally we don't have a "run" in with any officers.  Infact, we know them all in town and feel pretty comfortable.  The kids have been pretty lucky so far that Mom is involved in local government, so they get a feel for who the "law" is and that they have to be extra good...

Well, the animals don't always agree!  

As you may have gathered from earlier blog posts, I am not particularly happy with our animal choices.  It isn't the fact that I don't like dogs.  In fact, quite the opposite.  It's just this dog that doesn't listen. I have also been fighting the smile I have hidden deep down inside that the cat decided to "walk" outside and just hasn't quite found its way home yet...  (not to mention, I am not so sure the kids have figured it out yet either)

So, we live in a small town and most of the time only see an officer that might stop by for food or a quick visit.  Seldom is it a real concern when the Police pull in my driveway.

Well, tonight was that exception.

Unfortunately, our dog Buster has spring fever.  He couldn't wait for a leaf, stick, or imaginary item blow in the wind so he could bark hysterically and run after nothing. We have a screen door that he tends to move open with his snout just enough his body can get through....  I have never had a problem, except the darn dog can't learn to shut the screen to keep the flies out!

Well, I was being the responsible one.... cooking on the grill with a glass of wine (of course)....contemplating just how long before I needed to turn the chicken.  (I had my priorities)  The kids were running around somewhere, not in my line of eye sight, but I was sure I hadn't seen blood or heard curdling screams so we were good. 

So, after rounding everyone up and sitting down at the table to eat....  You got it...  A police officer pulls into the driveway.  I am very calm and suggest to one child they get the door.  Well, it wasn't that type of visit.  The kids must have sensed it because they started to scream when they didn't recognize the officer and ran into their bedrooms....  really??  Are you kidding me?  That's like telling the officer your guilty.  Atleast act calm...  Or that's what I was taught.  (For no good reason, I swear I was a model child.... or was that college I learned that one?). 

Anyway...Mommy has to get up and see who it is, and find out why they are here.  The officer kindly asked me if I knew where my dog was.  A pit in my stomach just fell...  The dog as much as I hate him at times, plays an important role in our family, and I was just hoping he didn't have 'bad' news like "come claim his carcass"  He continued with "we found him across the street". 

Ah ha, relaxation sets in....which quickly turns to that worry .......about that "dog at large" ticket that I just knew this officer could be contemplating... 

About now I should tell you that this wasn't their first visit to return him.  Oh and I probably forget to admit that last year Buster really liked our neighbors dog.  He got out any chance he could ....and the neighbor lady would yell, scream, and call the police.  I knew my days were numbered...... 

We even installed an invisible fence....  They don't tell you that if your dog is bigger it might not work!

So we have this tie out...Which only works if Buster doesn't pull it out of the ground.

Geez...  I mean I could add to my  One - More - Thing - Mom - Needs - To - Do list.... But I am pretty sure that keeping track of a dog will never make the top. (I mean, I buy dog food isn't that enough...)

So back on the Leash...Hook or whatever it takes so Mommy doesn't get a ticket!   Or we might be taking up a Buster Collection!

The Best and Worst Part of My Day

We all have crazy busy lives, and I learned throughout single parenthood that nothing else matters except those little faces that are staring at you.  No money problems, no social issues, no discipline issues, nothing..... Not that I have been a model parent, because I know that isn't the case, but that I have learned what is important and how to cherish that moment. 

So eating dinner at the kitchen table was a tradition we installed.  That might even mean, we have to push all that laundry over and eat at one end of the table......because our schedules are so crazy we can't seem to get things done. But that means we are eating together at the table and talking.

There were several traditions I inherited being married for almost 12 years into the Grim Reaper's family.  I will say the family is amazing, and to this day his sisters are an important part of all of our lives.  Having said that....  One sister in particular had a ritual that we latched on to.  It is absolutely the one ritual my children will never forget.  And I can't thank her enough for the wonderful ideas to help us cherish these moments.  It seems novice, but at the dinner table we go round and each child gets a chance to say what the best and worst part of their day was. 

I have never known of a practice that allows you to learn so much about what is going on in your child's life. 

Of course not always does it go as planned...  I remember vividly one day Ryan started crying telling me the worst part of his day was when his best friend "broke up" with him.  Then of Course big sister has to chime in "Stupid.....Boys don't break up" (said in that smart sisterly voice) and then Mom has to step in.  But the point is, we all get a good laugh, cry, or whatever we need.

It has now even gotten to where all the kids are raising their hands in anticipation of telling me about their day.  I get to learn about their homework, their social issues, and the simplest of innocence that I just know won't last long.  I have learned some interesting things about the teachers, their friends, or even what their friends parents might think of me...(Which believe it or not isn't all bad.)

It has become such a great tradition, that even when we go out  for dinner Jake will raise his hand and start with the best part of his day.  One proud mommy is all I can say.  Now if I could just get them to pick up their dirty clothes.....or heck, clean ones too for that matter!

No matter what, Dinner is the absolutely the best part of my day.....

Always abide by the 3 "P" policies in our house

It’s rather humorous that as parents we tend to revert to our inner child when we talk to our children.  When the children are babies, we tend to talk like babies, and likewise when they grow up we tend to apply their logic.  So early on I realized that I will never be the “Stay at home” nurturing motherly type.  I knew my communication with my children might be a bit of "Matter of Fact". 

I seldom sugar coat things for my children.  It isn’t because I don’t want to, it’s just because I am not wired that way.  (Thank my unusual childhood for that).  It doesn’t mean I am not nurturing at times, its rather quite the opposite.  I just know that I am a better parent for having that “time away” at work and being able to pay the bills, so they have food to eat and a place to live... Oops, there I go again.

So when it comes to the frustration of bed wetting, throwing up, or wiping asses, I have tried to apply my own little character to it.  It’s called the three P’s…. Peeing, Puking, and Pooping.

I never had any problems with my daughter, but boys are certainly different, as I am learning.  So when my daughter has sleepovers, the boys want to do the same…. Unfortunately, there are secrets in our house that sometimes prevent that.  

That’s right.  Secrets.

 

My youngest has an issue.  He sometimes can’t make it to the bathroom on time and when he does, he seems to think pointing down somewhere is good enough, which causes us to pack several outfits.  He also tends to eat his food too fast, leaving him feeling ill and throwing up. (Issue for another day)  Not to mention, this is the same child that insists he can’t reach his butt to wipe it...hence the "Poop" Policy.

So when he wants to sleep over at his friends house?  We go over the rules….  “No Peeing, No Puking, No Pooping….  Can you handle that?”  He always smiles and jumps up and down in anticipation of a “real” sleep over.  It's actually very adorable.

So, I go over this set of policies not really for him, because he’s only five and he really doesn’t care if his friends see him in any of these situations……. but for me!  That’s right….I am being selfish yet again.  I really don’t feel like getting that call at midnight from his best friends mom saying “I just carried your son to the bathroom and he’s puking” or “I just wiped his ass.”  Wow…those almost sounded real (said is a sarcastic voice)

Either way, in our house we go over these rules usually before we leave for a trip, or go somewhere special.  It’s really become iconic in our house, and something I can’t wait to use against them when they graduate from High School!

Another Animal and our House is going to Explode!

So, I will be the first person to admit, I am a softy when my children fall in love with an animal.

When will I learn?

As a child, I always had a dog.  In fact, I always had a Labrador and often was found sleeping in his dog house.  He was my best friend “Bandit” (one of the few things I remember).  So as a parent, I felt it was important to provide those same values and responsibilities into my children.

It hasn’t been all good.  

The first dog after I was married was a Doberman.  I was scared to death of this animal and I hated it.  I don’t think I shed one tear when the good lord took him.  (And I swear I had nothing to do with it…)  

So, when the opportunity came, we had a pure bread yellow Lab.  Her name was Lizzy, and the kids loved her so much.  She was perfect.  Didn’t really chew up much and always rolled around on the floor with the babies.

So if you have one pet, why not add more you ask….They all are probably just as amazing as the one you have...I told myself!

Soon, it was the kids falling in love with a cat at the local Pet Smart.  NEVER and I will repeat NEVER go into a store where they sell animals.  That is my motto.  It was an adorable cat.  “I think I am allergic” I said to the kids, but we played with it and it never made me sneeze, so what the heck, let’s buy her!  

What I failed to realize, was that NO ONE but mommy was going to care for these animals….. That would be clean up after them, feed and water them, and pay for their shots!

Come to find out I was right..... I was instantly sneezing, coughing...thought how could a cold last for 6 weeks!  The tests came back.  I was allergic to the cat.

I tried everything.  Until my prayers were answered and one of the children left the door open and the cat wandered outside never to be seen again.

Then the inevitable happened and Lizzy was diagnosed with a rare blood disorder and we had a funeral and rough recovery.

Well, that wasn’t the end because they soon felt the need to raise hamsters.  Small mice like creatures that smell terribly.  The pet shop owner told me they were all male and were fine to have all three in the same cage.  Not being well versed in “hamster” I thought I wasn’t going to spend any more money on additional cages for another pet interest that wasn’t going to last long.  Well, it didn’t take long for Mommy to be disgusted by the cage and amount of work that no child would touch!  

Yet again, God heard my prayers and the hamsters took care of their own lives…Something I actually had to handle disposal of.

Then, it was time for another dog.  But the Grim Reaper was feeling nice, and said he found two beautiful Lab puppies and he would pay for one and I could keep them both since I have the rather large house and yard.  Well, all common sense was out the door when two adorable little yellow 4 month old labs hit your arms.  I accepted.

Life was terrible.

They ate everything.  The kids did nothing.  I had even had ulnar bone shortening and my arm was casted from elbow to wrist as I tried caring for these monsters.  It didn't take long for me to call the Grim Reaper to make his decision.  Take them or I kill them.  Well, he handled it.  Pure Labs are great hunting dogs and a nice farmer offered to take one.  We kept the one we "thought" was most tame.  The jury is still out on that one!

I just wanted a nice puppy to cuddle with....Is that too much to ask for?

Buster, an adorable yellow lab and lover by heart, is really my arch enemy.   He gives us that "I promise to be good" look, and when we wake in the morning, another toy or stuffed animal or pair of BRAND NEW HIGH HEELS is eaten up!! 

So being naive and inexperienced at carrying for animals, someone at the pet store said he needed a friend.  So when the kids wanted this "free" cat that some neighbors were giving away, I gave in.  Yes, I know I am allergic, but I thought if I left it out of my room, maybe I would be okay.  And I had three droopy, watery set of kids eyes looking at me saying they PROMISED to care for them and help me!

Boy, how many times does Mommy fall for that one! 

Mark my words.......We may not have pets much longer!!

Enough Said.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

I often used to wonder what traits my children would inherit from me.  Always hoping it would be the best traits I could possibly have…..but I began to notice behavior that made me look twice in the mirror.

I have always been good at debate, forensics or any type of public speaking.  Given a challenge, I seldom let down.  Unfortunately, that apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to my children. 

What I didn’t ever expect, was that my children would be the ones to use my logic to completely and utterly confuse me in my prime!

I remember clearly my daughter was about 5 years old.  She was demanding the ability to have juice without using a sippy cup.  I explained how I anticipated she would be spilling and she needed to hold with both hands and not go into the living room.  The hard headed individual she was, she walked into the livingroom when I wasn’t looking and tripped.  She spilled her cup all over the floor.  I took one look at her, and she said “Well, if you didn’t buy the juice then I wouldn’t have had anything to spill”…..  Hmmm  I couldn’t argue with that one!  But I certainly found a way….. that would be the challenge part in me.

I remember another instance where my youngest son fell down the step leaving the house.  It was pretty traumatic seeing as he broke his front tooth off, but outside of all the commotion….he too found that same logic by telling me “if we didn’t live here, this wouldn’t have happened”

I can honestly say we have worked extremely hard to take responsibility for our actions.  As funny as those situations are, and as much as they make me proud of the intellectual responses…..its hard not to look into the mirror and pull out those self-help books again!