I never thought this day would come. My 9 year old son told me he wanted to move in with his father.
My children are my life. I can't imagine one single second of my life where they don't make me giggle, laugh, cry, or preach about something.
I was crushed. I wanted to say "No, I want you all to myself" but I knew I couldn't.
You see...... I really can't say no. His father is a great dad. In as much as he was a terrible husband, he is always there for the kids, and would drop anything he is doing to rescue us. We have a great partnership now. The kids call him whenever they need, he takes them on weekends and often on mini-trips when Mommy has to work late. There is no doubt in my mind, he would bend over backwards for his children!
But ...... Ryan is my middle son. He makes me laugh all the time. He drives me absolutley crazy all the time... He's always in trouble, struggles in school, but he is always laughing, his jokes are terrible, but he too would bend over backwards for his Mommy. If I had even a tear in my eye, he would hug me and not let go. He has the biggest heart!
I can't bear the thought of not being with my baby in the morning or at night. I can't bear the thought of not having to fight with him to read for his 20 minutes for school, or to tell him no he can't go play football outside because the dogs need to be fed.
You see, I can't imagine my life without him.
And then I think of my dear dear friend.... She suffered a loss that I can't ever imagine. You see her daughter went home, but to her home in Heaven. She won't get to see her laugh, giggle, or have sleep overs.....I have cried so hard for her and yet have only met her daughter a handful of times. I think how I need to be more understanding and share all of these moments with him. I think how selfish I am being for not wanting to let go.
So when he asked again I looked at him and said..... "Honey, it's your choice and I will support you"
Ryan is still home right now and I am thankful. <3
