Boys and the bathroom...Where did I go wrong....

At some point in my life, I thought I would be a professional....Maybe have a nanny that would do all the things I didn't want to do, and have only those enjoyable moments that those "happy" families have.... 

Well, that dream was shot to hell years ago....

Now I am left with a crazy busy lifestyle, dirty house, a dog that eats everything in site, a cat (that....let's just say is about to "run" away), and children that fight....

I don't think there is such a thing as "Normal" in our house, but if there was.....  this would be one of those nights.  Oldest child is being unsocial shutting herself in her bedroom so she can't get "Cooties" from her brothers, and because boys are just "Stupid" I guess.  Middle child is almost in tears at the kitchen table trying to learn cursive.  Mommy is frantic trying to get something going for dinner, so we can stay on task and Social Services doesn't come to arrest me!  Then I hear from the Bathroom.... "Mommy"  "Maaaaaaammmmyyyy"  "I need a wipe" 

Excuse me? 
That's right....  My youngest seems to think he can't bend over enough to wipe his own but!!  Infact, he finds it humorous to call Mommy in to help him.  I have tried everything... 

As you can see from his evil smile....He enjoys this!

I tried ignoring him once.  He sat there singing, and calling my name every so often.  It was a pretty nice babysitter I will say! 

I tried teaching him once.  He just said he has tried that, and he since he had school today he didn't want his teachers to help him so he saved it just for me.  A true sweetheart!

I even tried leaving him, and learned quickly that I do laundry and I will leave it at that!

I even tried sending him to my girlfriends house because I knew she would whip him in shape.  Then I got a call from her that I owe her one!   Well, this didn't work out so well....  She now watches her clock and knows when it's time for Jake (since he pretty much is predictable), which means our visits our being monitored by his bowels....

So, for all the Mothers who moved on from changing diapers and were all excited those years might be over....Think again!!